Build a What?

While riding the bus (aka the loser cruiser) I was carrying a gift in my hand. I should mention I would consider it a semi nice gift as it wasn't from the dollar store (my usual shop of choice!)

The gift was a box with two air holes. Look at the pic it should give you an idea.

Looked like this with a little more fur hanging out. I guess my hand was covering the BUILD A BEAR WORKSHOP.
Clearly the diagrams on the side give you an idea that it is child friendly.

There was a guy standing beside me. He kept staring at the box.

Finally he asked, "What kind of animal inside?".

"A bear", I answered.

He backed up, seemingly frightened.

I thought about it, maybe he thought it was real.

"Its a build a bear", I told him.
Looked like he was trying to contemplate what species it was.

Finally after about one minute I told him, "Its stuffed".

He looked at me again "It looks so real".
Not really I thought. 

WTF? Its in a box, and he can only made of fake fur poking through a cardboard box with picture of kid friendly bears.

LOL.
People are funny. And stupid too.




My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.


Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

Whoops ! My bad!

I had the first swimming class of 2015 with my 2 year old son.
We were joined by two other fathers in the shower with their kids.
The first father had a little girl, about 4 years old.
And he had a swimsuit on so he can change her in the shower.
Then the 2nd father comes in the shower, wearing jeans, hat backwards and a sweater.Then I'm spraying down my son and I realized there is hole in the side of the hose. 

The spray is getting quite close to them.
Then I give the showerhead to my son and he's spraying every where and I said, "Be careful". He sprays in their direction and gets the dad's jeans a little bit.
Finally I grab back it and the water from the hole sprays him in the eyes and he's crying so I turn the showerhead away. I forget I had aimed direcly in their direction.
Unfortunately I totally drenched the dad through his sweater, hat and jeans (not to mention his running shoes).
He jumped.
And was like "Ahhhh man!"
Lol.
I said "Shit I'm sorry".
But I realized his jeans and sweater are soaked.
And its fockn cold outside. Like real cold. I pictured him becoming ice (like a pop sickle).
 I apologized as he sloshed around in his wet clothes in the change room. 
His daughter kept saying "Daddy you are wet!"
I was like ah sh*t constant reminders to him of what I did.
Lol.

Needless to say.
The first dad said bye.
The 2nd dad did not.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

Painter Extraordinaire!

Whilst painting a wall the other day I told my friend, “You know, I feel like Picasso”.

“What? In what way dude?”

“I’m paining a masterpiece trying to make it perfect”, I retorted.

“Dude, you are using a roller. It’s not even a brush, and you are painting the wall white”.

“Ya exactly”, I answered.

“I think you are more like Vincent Van Gogh, you are mentally ill”, he said.

“Sounds about right. I think I inhaled too much paint”, I answered.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

Middle Aged People Are Funny

 You don't even have to be that old to be out of the loop.
Usually senility comes with age.

I went to go see the new Batman movie DARK NIGHT RISES.
During the previews of upcoming movies, there were two middle aged women sitting in front of us.
I would guestimate their ages to be between 45-55 years old.
Me, being the nerd I am have already seen pretty much every preview of all the new movies, especially comic based ones. So for me, all I need to do is see the first five seconds to know what movie it is.
As the preview started a voice saying that this person would be a beacon of hope and stand in the light. That the people would follow him, and he would be a leader everyone would follow.
Obvious enough?
A man wearing a red cape and blue tights shot up into the air.
Can you guess who it is? Common! You know it.
The one lady looked at the other, "What does that mean?" she asked.
The other lady looked at her, "It means another Spiderman movie next year".

What's this the symbol of? You must know, even though its a new design.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

MacGyver Extraordinaire!

MacGyver Extraordinaire!

Improvise. No light make one, with whatever you have. 

A few funny things happened last night.

We went to a restaurant in Richmond for the first time. I don't want to mention any names, but the service was terrible.
Anyways, to top it off I wanted to go to the bathroom after enjoying two cups of coffee.
I get to the bathroom and the light doesn't seem to turn on. I was like Umm, wtf!? I asked an employee who appeared not to speak much English "Power!? POWAAA!?". I was like, "Sorry I don't quite understand".
I looked around the restaurant and it seemed the power was on, plus we had just ordered and she didn't say anything about lack of power.

I kept trying the switch, but to no avail.
Finally a girl popped out of the women's bathroom. "Hi", I said. She had her Iphone in her hand with the flash constantly on, like a flashlight. "hahah, ya the power is only out in the bathroom, the worker told me in Chinese, they don't know what's wrong, at least you can use you phone with the flash, there is an app for that". She giggled and walked away.
I realized I didn't have my Iphone with me it was in my jacket. I walked back to the table and grabbed it.
I contemplated just leaving the door open half way so that I could have a bit of light, but it opened up into the restaurant eating area, so I thought too embarrassing.
I went through my apps and realized that I had deleted the flashlight app a few weeks ago, when I re-updated my phone. CRAP!
 I saw the Chinese employee again. "Hi, do you have a flashlight?", I inquired. He just yelled "POWER!! PAWAAA" and walked away. I assumed that was a no.
Then genius hit me. If I used the flash on my phone without the app it could work but I have to keep taking pictures. I hoped I could pee with one hand and take pictures with the other. I hoped I wasn't going to drop my Iphone into the toilet.
I started peeing and taking pictures. My biggest fear was that I was going to miss the toilet and hit the wall or better yet, hit myself.
I took about 30 pictures and flushed. I couldn't judge if there was a bit of water from spray up from the toilet or someone else didn't have the flashlight app and peed all over the flusher.
I cleaned my hands really well (while pressing the take picture button with my knuckles) and got out.
It occurred to me I may want to delete those pictures just incase.
I went through them quickly, all pictures of me mid stream, wonderful.
As I got back to the table my friend told me.
"Dude all you need to do is put the Iphone on video, the light will come on. You don't even need to record the video".

A few hours later we went to a night market.
As we were leaving there was a lady infront of us carrying an infant in a stroller. She carried it a way I've never seen before. I thought it was pretty damn funny so I followed her for a few minutes and took a picture.
She never once turned around to see the child was OK. Maybe that's the way they roll in her family.

Yes, she is popping a wheelie and walking by dragging it! Wow.

Now that's the way to pull a child. You might end up without one if you carry it long enough like this.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/