Thor and his Maintenance Hammer!

Thor and his Maintenance Hammer!

At work I noticed one of the carts for moving heavy items was slightly damaged. A piece of wood was sticking out with exposed nails (not safe at all. And if you didn't know I am Mr.Safety).

I contemplated kicking it back in place, but with my luck I imagined the nails might enter my shoe and into my toes. Trust me I do stupid things and I usually pay for it.

I radioed the maintenance guy.

"Good morning sir, the cart needs a Hulk Smash and it should be good to go, can you come to the kitchen?".

His response,
"What? I don't know what you are talking about, a Hulk what?".

My answer,
"You know, pretend you are HULK and smash it back into place".

His answer
"What? I don't get it.".

He appears in the kitchen.

I said
"Ya so just Hulk smash it and you are good to go. You know who the Hulk is right?"

His answer
"Some WWF guy blonde and bandana?".

Impressive he knew his WWF characters. Now called WWE?

I laughed.
I had to give him props for that, for an older guy he knew that at least.

"No, the green dude who is full of rage and gamma radiation. You know what!? Just give me the hammer and I'll do it. I'm full of rage and probably irradiated (or irritated) by gamma's."

He gave me a weird look.

"I forgot my hammer".

My response
"Thor should never forget his hammer Mjölnir. For it holds the power of a dying star which should not fall into the wrong hands. Its might could be used by evil if befallen into the darkness".

He said "I don't understand you" and walked away.

"I believe in you Thor", I answered as he disappeared.

He didn't respond. I hope he didn't report me for living in a comic book world.

I was irradiated by gamma's like the HULK and full of rage.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

Superglue Super stupid

Superglue, Super Stupid!

I did something semi stupid today.
What else is new?

I decided to fix my door which had a few pieces of wood detached.

Ah the real power of super-glue.

I actually ripped them off my door myself for Reno in another part of my condo. When I brought it to the store the guy asked why I brought chunks of wood, I said to paint match.

He looked at me bewildered, "It has to be flat and just the paint, I don't need the weird shapes of wood. Needs to be about as big as a twoonie". 

OK I thought.

I went home to glue the wood pieces back in place.

They were awkward shapes. I covered them with super-glue and held them on the door.

One slight problem.

My fingers not only glued together, they also glued to the door.

I slowly peeled my fingers from the door, happy I didn't lose any skin (this time).

I decided to then put the super-glue only on the door and push the piece of wood on. The wood was too small and I got more super-glue on my fingers.

I was stuck with three fingers together.
If you have never tried it before, don't bother. Makes life very difficult.


The worst part of this story is my last two experiences with super-glue I had glued my fingers together too and I swore I would never do without gloves again. 
I didn't use gloves.

Oh boy!

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

Painter Extraordinaire!

Whilst painting a wall the other day I told my friend, “You know, I feel like Picasso”.

“What? In what way dude?”

“I’m paining a masterpiece trying to make it perfect”, I retorted.

“Dude, you are using a roller. It’s not even a brush, and you are painting the wall white”.

“Ya exactly”, I answered.

“I think you are more like Vincent Van Gogh, you are mentally ill”, he said.

“Sounds about right. I think I inhaled too much paint”, I answered.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

The Dinner Party

The Dinner Party

I sometimes wonder why I do things and then end up laughing about them after.
Here are two of those things.

The place:   Dinner at a sushi restaurant.
Who with:   People all speaking in Chinese only.

After the dinner
A friend's conversation as she wasn't able to come to the dinner.


Her: "How did the party go?"

Me: "Well put it this way, there was so little going on in English I made friends with a 6 year old".

Her: "How did the conversation go?"

Me: "Not well, I mentioned Thomas the steam war tank numerous times, as that was what interested him".

Her: "Do you mean Thomas the steam engine?"

Me: "Whatever, that blue dude that's on tracks".

Her: "You make about as much sense as the 6 year old."


Her: "Well at least how was all you can eat sushi?"

Me: "Terrible. Tasted like it was run through a toilet".

Her: "Oh, anything beside sushi?"

Me: "Ya, they had some deep fried fish full of eggs".

Her: "How was that?"

Me: "I ate the whole plate. I utterly detested them".

Her: "Then why did you eat the whole plate?"

Me: "Cause no one else was, and the lack of conversation was killing me. I kept mumbling delicious since no one was saying anything to me".

Her: "Nice, how did that go?".

Me: "Not good, they ordered another full plate just for me".


My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

The Best of My Trip

I came across one of my old hard drive which contained thousands of digital pictures.

Among them I found my trip to Korea in 2002.
I looked through all the photo's.

I thought this one was the best of the trip.
It really gives a good picture of how my trip to Korea was (and no it wasn't North Korea).

Pretty dark, dreary and unclear. Just like my trip to Korea. 


PS I think other people have a great trip, maybe ours was timed wrong due to weather, Fifa World Cup etc.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

An idiotic Conversation

The background

Whilst a friend asked me which I preferred Subway or Quizno’s.

Me: I like Quizno’s more.

Her: Why ?

Me: I don’t like Subway. They ask me too many questions.

Her: Like what?

Me: What bread do I want, some stuff about flavour of the sandwich, harassment about what veggies and then what flavour of salt and pepper I want.

Her: What do you mean flavour of salt and pepper?

Me: I mean they say, "Hey what flavour do you want?".

Her: Do they actually say “Hey”.

Me: No, I’m giving an example.

Her: But back to my point, what do you mean flavour of salt and pepper? Do you mean sauce?

Me: Whatever they ask, same thing. I’m still thinking about the last 100 questions they asked me so by that point I'm confused.

Her: I'm confused by your story.

Me: Me too. You lost me at which one is better. The answer is McDonald’s is better. The one question is "To here or to go?".

You know I’m simple.

Her: Yes. A simpleton.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/

Middle Aged People Are Funny

 You don't even have to be that old to be out of the loop.
Usually senility comes with age.

I went to go see the new Batman movie DARK NIGHT RISES.
During the previews of upcoming movies, there were two middle aged women sitting in front of us.
I would guestimate their ages to be between 45-55 years old.
Me, being the nerd I am have already seen pretty much every preview of all the new movies, especially comic based ones. So for me, all I need to do is see the first five seconds to know what movie it is.
As the preview started a voice saying that this person would be a beacon of hope and stand in the light. That the people would follow him, and he would be a leader everyone would follow.
Obvious enough?
A man wearing a red cape and blue tights shot up into the air.
Can you guess who it is? Common! You know it.
The one lady looked at the other, "What does that mean?" she asked.
The other lady looked at her, "It means another Spiderman movie next year".

What's this the symbol of? You must know, even though its a new design.

My Japanese blog.
Also somewhat incoherent like this blog, but more weird stuff happened to me in Japan.
Take a gander at it at this link.

http://memoirsgaijin.blogspot.ca/